The Bubbling Brook

“A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.” – Proverbs 18:4.

I was sitting in men’s group back in the spring of this year (2023), and the Lord put an assignment on my heart – to begin writing a ‘faith blog’ for believers and non-believers, encouraging them in the Word and their identity in Christ. This blog is my attempt at obedience to God’s knock at the door of my heart.

When I was 20 years old I fell into habitual drug abuse with Adderall and other stimulants. When I finally came to my senses and comprehended the destruction I had done to my body and neural pathways, I quit cold turkey, propelling me into a long period of depression and anxiety that I’m still working through today. To help mitigate and expedite the healing process, I tried every method known to man. First it was returning to regular exercise – this made me look better physically, but I still felt ‘off’. Next was cleaning up my diet – I felt better about not eating fast food every day, but once again, there was still something missing. Next came the ice baths, meditation, quitting alcohol, deep breathing methods, talk therapy, positive affirmations, even hypnosis – though some methods made me feel better temporarily, I always found myself feeling empty after the euphoria had worn off. What remained was a hole in my soul that I could not heal on my own.

As I neared the end of 2022, I felt sick of the ‘groundhog day’ feeling I experienced every New Years Eve for the past 5 years – another year of my life gone by, yet still in the same place mentally, with little faith in myself to turn things around. So, instead of attending the typical NYE party I usually indulged in, I chose to spend New Years Eve watching college football with my roommate, and went to bed before midnight so that I was rested for church the next day.

As I entered church on January 1st I was nervous. I still struggled with my mental health. I was undisciplined in my habits. I still drank alcohol and treated my body poorly. I was still indulging in all of the fleshly desires that the world had to offer. Yet, with no other options to fill that hole in my heart, I gave up on trying to figure it out. And honestly, after the first week I still didn’t know if I was in the right place. But what I did notice on that first day in church was the joy of others – real joy, not the kind of happiness that’s based on circumstance. I noticed it on the crossing guard’s face who walked me across the street. I noticed it from the greeters who welcome’d me into the lobby. I noticed it from the woman who invited us into prayer and anointing at the beginning of service. And I noticed it from the members who sought me out after service to make me feel at home. So I came back the next week. And the next week. And the next. And after a month of attending church, still wondering if I was in the right place, I encountered the presence of God unlike anything I had ever experienced before. It was as if my body was being wrapped up in a warm hug, one that said “It’s okay to rest for awhile – I will hold you up.”

As I continued to seek the Lord, give my time and thoughts to Jesus, and serve God and His church in a larger capacity, that hole in my heart that was once incurable started to fill with the Holy Spirit in ways that I cannot explain. It was as if all of the worry I had about my purpose, legacy, and healing had been replaced by comfort, peace, and joy in my identity in Christ. “… Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord…” – Acts 3:20.

No matter what giants you are facing – whether it’s addiction, depression, anxiety, heartbreak, loneliness, self-doubt, discouragement – you need to understand that there is a God of creation that loves you more than any human being will ever be able to. There is no past too dark to forgive. There are no thoughts too impure to wipe clean. Jesus Christ is a God of forgiveness, and His love surpasses anything this life can offer. And yes, He loves YOU – and even if you read this and continue on with your life in the same capacity, He still loves YOU just as much as He did yesterday – there is nothing you can do to run from His love, for He does not change.

If you would like me to pray for you, you can leave a prayer request in the comments or email me at: bubblingbrookinc@gmail.com.

Love y’all, have an amazing week ❤